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By April 26, 2012 at 11:21 am 1,137 20 2
I had a hard core cataplexy attack last night. Best part- with my sick three year old in my arms- while rocking him. Luckily, I was sitting on his bed with him, but he rolled right out of my arms onto the floor. I was so sad for him and me and he's been sick for days, that I let myself feel a bit too much. So then, he's crying and I can't move or speak. Awesome. Of course, then I had to not think, take care of him, which ended up with us falling asleep with no supper. Way to keep on schedule. All effects of stimulant meds were gone-and my body ached. Didn't sleep well last night. Lots of messed up dreams and according to my app , I woke up 7 times. Trying to make it today. Trying to find help for bills, medicine, a new job, not worry, take care of my kids, adjust to being a narc, get a good schedule, a better diet and trust that all will work out. Not feeling it. Just not feeling it. My own story - which is pretty depressing if I was to continue- is so pathetic it makes me ill. Trying to find my can-do attitude. My kick-butt, organized self while adjusting to not being all that right now. Figure I got to ease up on myself. I've only been diagnosed since Feb, officially since March. Meds still aren't quite right. But - I got things to do for my kids. Can't end up homeless. Question is how??? My dad would tell me, while making a gesture with his fingers - here's the world's smallest record player and it's playing my heart bleeds for you. Then he would say- welcome to the real world. Maybe he should spend a day in mine.